You're Not Broken: Adjusting to an adult ADHD or Autism Diagnosis.

Finding out you're Autistic or have ADHD as an adult can stir up a lot of feelings - some good, some confusing and some heavy.

Maybe its a huge relief to finally have answers. Maybe its overwhelming to rethink parts of your life through a new lens. However you're feeling, you're not broken - and you're not alone.

Common emotions after diagnosis can be: relief, grief, anger, hope, or all of them at once.

It's completely normal to feel a mix of emotions after receiving an ADHD or Autism diagnosis as an adult. Many people describe the initial sense of relief - finally having a name for lifelong experiences that didn't make sense. But alongside that relief, there can also be grief; grief for the years spent struggling without support, or for opportunities that might have been different with an earlier understanding.

Research shows that late-diagnosed individuals often go through a process similar to grieving (Cooper & Smith, 2018). Anger can also surface - anger at being misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or dismissed for so long.

Sometimes, there's hope too; the hope that with new knowledge, comes the chance to create a life that fits who you really are.

Unpacking old experiences with new understanding - It's common to start mentally revisiting your past. You might reframe childhood memories, social struggles, school difficulties, or workplace challenges with a new lens; 'Oh, that wasn't laziness/ bad attitude/ weirdness, that was ADHD/Autism". This reframing can be incredibly freeing, but it can also stir up sadness, regret or even trauma.

Studies (eg. Raymaker et al., 2010) suggest that reprocessing old experiences through an Autistic or ADHD lens can be healing, but it can also temporarily increase emotional distress. It's a huge shift in identity, and it's okay if it takes time to settle. Counselling can provide a safe space to work through these feelings - to honour the past without getting stuck in it.

How Counselling can help you build a life that works for you, not just how you were told it "should" look.

For many late diagnosed adults, the biggest shift isn't just understanding their diagnosis, it's realising they're allowed to build a life that actually works for them.

That might mean embracing different communication styles, honouring sensory needs, designing routines around real energy patterns (not "normal" schedules), or setting boundaries that protect your mental health.

Counselling can help explore what genuinely supports your well-being, without trying to force you back into old molds. Studies emphasise the importance of neurodiversity-affirming therapy (Gordon et al., 2023), working with someone who sees your diagnosis as part of your identity, not a problem to "fix". The goal is not to change who you are - it's to support you in thriving as yourself.

If you've recently been diagnosed - or you're still wondering whether ADHD or Autism might be a part of your story, you're not alone. You're not broken & you're not behind. You're just learning to understand yourself in a new way, and that takes time. if you'd like support sorting through it all at your own pace, Supportive Life Counselling is here when you're ready.